Why Conformity Can Limit Growth—and What to Do About It

We often think of safety as synonymous with sameness. Humans, as social beings, are wired to conform. We instinctively follow the group because belonging offers protection—from rejection, exclusion, or even loneliness. But what happens when the drive to conform comes at the cost of personal growth?

Recently, I witnessed how powerful social and cultural forces can prevent someone from making a personal choice. They were afraid of being excluded from their community, and who could blame them? Research shows that social rejection activates the same brain areas as physical pain1. So the fear is real. But this raises a critical question: How much of our life is truly our own?

We aren’t the only species that experiences this dilemma.

Charles J. Sharp, CC BY-SA 4.0

Consider burrowing owls. These birds may not be renowned risk-takers, but they reveal something important: not all individuals make the same choices. Bolder owls and females are more likely to leave home and explore, risking shorter lifespans for potentially better living conditions and more mating opportunities. Staying put may feel safer—but it limits what's possible.

For more social animals, belonging is even more crucial. Red colobus monkeys, for example, form loose social bonds and don’t depend on close relationships, which means individuals can make independent choices without risking exclusion. Humans, by contrast, are deeply embedded in complex social structures. Our sense of identity and safety often hinges on group acceptance.

This is where conformity becomes a double-edged sword.

From an evolutionary perspective, humans (and other animals) tend toward what's called an “evolutionarily stable strategy” (ESS)—a behavior that works so well that once it's widely adopted, it's hard to displace. Social norms help keep the group together. But over-conformity can stifle creativity and innovation.

Copyright: Jennifer Verdolin, 2023

Chimpanzees use social pressure to maintain conformity. Deviating from group norms—like cracking a nut a different way—can earn you shunning or aggression2. Yet without a few bold individuals willing to break the mold, no new techniques, ideas, or relationships would ever emerge.

Take the case of the Japanese macaque who washed a sweet potato in the sea—a behavior no one had done before. Others followed. Generations later, this once-novel act is now a cultural tradition.

Innovation always starts with someone willing to be different. It takes courage, a strong will, and the risk of rejection. But those willing to stretch beyond the familiar can set off a chain reaction of transformation.

If we all do only what we know and what’s been done before, we limit not only our individual potential—but collective progress. True growth begins where conformity ends.

Three Tips to Limit Conformity, Embrace Your Authentic Self, and Thrive

1. Examine Your Motivation

Before making a decision, ask yourself: Am I choosing this because it feels right to me, or because it’s what others expect? Recognizing the difference between authentic choice and socially driven behavior is the first step toward reclaiming personal agency.

2. Start Small, Speak Up

You don’t have to upend your life to push against conformity. Start by expressing an unpopular opinion in a safe setting or trying something different in your routine. These micro-moments of self-expression build the courage and confidence to take bigger steps later.

3. Seek Out Brave Communities

Surround yourself with people who support individuality and growth. Being part of a group doesn’t mean losing yourself. Find or build communities where diversity in thought and experience is embraced—not punished.

Curious how other species handle rejection or resolve conflict? Read more on Wild Connection's blog about how animals navigate tough social situations and what we can learn from their strategies. Start with this one:

• Setting Healthy Boundaries

References:

1. DeWall, C.N. and Richman, S.B., 2011. Social exclusion and the desire to reconnect. Social and Personality Psychology Compass, 5(11), pp.919-932.

2. L.V. Luncz, R. Mundry, C. Boesch. Evidence for cultural differences between neighboring chimpanzee (Pan troglodytes) communities. Curr. Biol., 22 (2012), pp. 922-926